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Thursday, December 25, 2008

What im thinking...?

Have you ever felt like you don’t really belong anywhere? That you are stuck between two cultures and at times it feels like two worlds? You can’t seem to satisfy either one, and people ridicule you for that. I don’t know why I have this feeling. Maybe I felt it more as a worker, than at any time in my life. I am just very different. Also, I don’t ridicule others, or bother to say anything negative about anyone. When I don’t like what someone says, or disagree with someone, I just leave it and move on. It does not affect me in any way. Yet, others think that what I say is set in stone, and it is gold and needs to be melted away and changed for their pleasure.

Tell me what time is now? It’s ok, I will tell you. It is past 3:30 am. Yes, it is a little late for a person who is just sitting there doing nothing, and cannot sleep. Did I ever mention that I suffer from insomnia? I think I did in the past when I spent up to 72 hours wide awake and writing the silliest posts ever. Yes, those were the days. However, why am I still awake today when I am worry free? I need an answer! Where the hell is a shrink when you need ‘em?

My insomnia pushed me to the limit tonight. I am fully awake. I don’t even yawn. I am more alert now than after consuming my mug of coffee in the morning.

Do you see my point? I am not on crack here or anything. I am being serious. I am just a bit confused today and felt like smashing something, but I couldn’t find anything breakable and worthless.