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Saturday, January 19, 2008

Smart women and the Stupid mistakes

One of life’s great mysteries is women’s turbulent relationship with their other half.

Every woman who has loved, lost and embarrassed herself, but in truth, what we already know: you don’t need a man to be happy.

Are women still doing stupid things for men? We took to the streets to find out:

Stupid devotion

All women to grow up and be a man. Women are so driven by the desire to exist through men that they miss the positive examples male behaviour can offer them.

In other words, if women studied male examples in assertion, courage, purpose, dreams and perseverance, they might live more fulfilling lives and stop blaming men for all their disappointments and unhappiness.

“Men don’t stay in relationships when they don’t think it’s working. Stephen Hawking walked out on his marriage, and the man has no legs.”

Women are supposed to have husbands. We are validated by that, and we validate ourselves that way.

Stupid cohabitation

So let’s say you’re one of the lucky girls who aren’t married yet. However, you do have a boyfriend with whom you want to test the waters before you take the BIG plunge?

But before you do, imagine Beauty and the Beast living together in their big, enchanted castle. Now imagine how much hair the Beast would have left in the shower drain, and how he is so darn possessive of her.

Hardly fairytale stuff, but Beauty is dying to change him – except he’s stubborn as a Beast.

Women usually decide to move in for a myriad of reasons that are self-delusional, not to mention selfish. They move in to be protected, to be wanted and to recreate the “Happily Ever After” fantasy from watching one too many Disney movies.

But life isn’t a cartoon......!!!!!

Stupid expectations

What is more un-sexy to a man than watching drag queen extraordinaire RuPaul trying to pole dance? A woman who tries to mould him.

Women should not turn into whiners just because a man hasn’t turned out the way she expected him to. Since you can’t just magically turn a slimy frog into Prince Charming with a flick of the wand, it’s best to heed the early warning signs.

Stupid faith

The advent of technology has brought about a new host of problems for women. The Internet has become a choice hangout to scout for potential mates – and it isn’t without its pitfalls.

Online romances should all come with a gigantic warning sign because a computer impairs not only one’s vision, but also one’s judgment. Just think of all the women you know who “found love” online.

Now think of all those who didn’t.

The chances of ending up happy and in love like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in You’ve Got Mail, is as slim as Kate Moss on a diet. It isn’t love just because you e-mail each other every day.

Stupid ambition

The 21st century has given rise to a generation of alpha females who are intent on climbing the corporate ladder in their four-inch Manolos and making enough money to put Donald Trump to shame.

Don’t get me wrong, “ambition” isn’t a four-letter word. You don’t have to be apologetic about it. But what happens when it becomes all-consuming, to the point where you lose sight of everything else?

“There’s just one word that our culture bestows on that supremely ambitious woman who unrepentantly values her career:

That’s what I am. And I really don’t care what others think”

“I’d make the feminists of yesteryears very proud. I wouldn’t have allowed any man to get in the way of my career a few years ago. Not even Brad Pitt.”

But I wasn’t happy....!

“It wasn’t because I was single. I’ve been disappointed by men in the past, and it was in my career that I found fulfilment. Nevertheless, I had this big, gaping hole that I needed to fill with things I wanted. And there were so many! I wanted to travel the world, wanted my Chanel bags, a bigger home . . . so I worked my butt off.

Men have showed interest in me over the years, but I was too cynical. They became invisible to me after a while. Even the genuine ones who weren’t intimidated by my success.

“I thought I was happy this way, until one day, I fell ill.

I'm started to change my life.

“Living has become such a pleasure. I’m no longer highly-strung and I’m beginning to find joy in everyday things. People started opening themselves up to me and this led to a chance encounter with my soul mate five years ago.

“Life’s more meaningful now that I have someone to share it with. Now I cringe just thinking about all those years I wasted.”

The verdict

Let’s face it – today’s women may have better education and careers compared to a generation ago, but we’re still making the same mistakes, over and over again.

Men don’t dictate our lives – we do.

The responsibility for steering our lives in the right direction lies with us, and the choices we make do not have to revolve around the opposite sex.

Try looking inside instead. Be balanced in your approach to life. “Women need to get out of their comfort zone and have faith in themselves.

“It takes independence and confidence to do so. I know it’s easier said than done, but nowadays, women are able to cope better with all the support groups that are available, even on the Internet”.

After all. It’s not about men,...................................................